


won't you float with me/i'll sink with you

by Astral_Bees



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fix-It, Hannah Lives, I think that's it for tags, Oneshot, and other various sapphics, bc i couldn't leave her like that, but it has a happy ending, damie - Freeform, i have a lot of feelings about these two right now, ok, this is for all the lesbians out there, this is just little moments of their lives together, this will have sad bits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:36:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27241303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Astral_Bees/pseuds/Astral_Bees
Summary: alternative title: 'keep me safe, please'more of the little moments of dani and jamie's lives together
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 6
Kudos: 191





	won't you float with me/i'll sink with you

The apartment was quiet. Silent even. And Dani could feel the tears building inside of her as she stared down at her reflection. No, not her reflection. The lady’s reflection. The beast’s reflection. But not hers. She was fading. Every day, she was fading. Becoming something less than herself.

Her bottom lip quivered, and she found herself thinking of Jamie. She was leaving her. Piece by piece and day by day. She was leaving her. Dani didn’t mean to. Didn’t want to. But she didn’t have a choice.

Draining the water and wiping away her tears, Dani sucked in a shaky breath. She sat on the couch, cradling her head in her hands. More tears came, forming true sobs that wrenched their way through her. And away from the water. Away from the reflection. Dani was Dani for just a moment longer. She was hurting and crying, but she was her. And that had to be enough. Every little moment where she was just herself had to be enough.

The key turned in the lock and Dani’s head shot up. She ran her hands down her face, hoping she would look a little less sad when Jamie got in. There was no use in ruining another one of the dwindling moments they had together.

But then the door opened and Jamie saw Dani and she knew, she knew, she knew. She joined Dani on the couch, pulling her head down to her chest.

“What’s wrong?” Worry and warmth intertwined in her voice.

Dani sniffled slightly, grabbing onto Jamie as if she was a lifesaver. The only thing keeping her afloat as her body wanted to sink. “I saw… She was in the water… I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” her words were gentle, soft. “hey, it’s alright, Poppins. She can’t get you. I’m here now. I’m here.”

“But… but… she…” A sob broke off Dani’s thoughts and Jamie ran a hand over her hair.

She whispered to Dani, her mouth pressed to the top of her head, “I’ve got you. And only you. It’s just the two of us, ok?”

Dani nodded quickly.

Pulling back from her, Jamie looked at Dani, her hands still holding onto her shoulders. “One day at a time. Tomorrow will be different. It’s all one day at a time.”

Once again, Dani nodded. Jamie smiled softly at her, stroking her cheek. She stood, offering a hand to Dani. Taking it, the two of them walked to the kitchen and Jamie started on dinner. It was shit food, but Dani didn’t mind much. Because Jamie was still trying. Always tending to the life they had together. And she couldn’t ask for more from her. It was practically perfect. Except for…

.

Dani woke up in the middle of the night, gasping for breath. She was lost. It was dark. Too dark. Where was she? Who was she? All of these moments collided together and it was day and it was night and she was two people in one. Her heart thudded in her chest and as she looked around, her eyes landed on Jamie. Oh. She was home. She was home and she was safe. And it was night, only night.

The echoes faded from her mind and she settled back into sleep, draping an arm over Jamie. Sleep didn’t come easily at first, but it slowly muffled all of her other thoughts and pulled her under.

In her dreams, she was there again. Bly. Staring up at the manor. At the hedges and the windows. Walking the drive to the front door. But once she reached the door and pulled it open, she was somewhere else. She was drowning. Drifting down, down, down. Every scream turned to bubbles and silence. Every movement rippled through the water, but it didn’t change her fate. She was lost. Tucked away in the lake. A memory. If she was lucky.

Shaking. She was shaking. No, she was being shaken.

Dani opened her eyes, staring up at Jamie’s face. A gentle smile took over her features as she climbed out of sleep and into the waking hours of the day. But her smile didn’t last long as she noticed the concern etched along all of Jamie’s features.

“What… what is it?” her own eyebrows knit themselves together, her features mimicking Jamie’s worry.

“You were shouting. In your sleep, you were shouting.”

Sitting up on the bed, Dani looked down. “I didn’t know.”

“I know you didn’t. I just didn’t want you to stay lost.”

“Thank you,” she tried smiling again, but it was weaker than her sleep-filled one had been. “For finding me.”

“I’ll always find you, Poppins.”

And deep down inside of her, Dani knew it was the truth. She knew Jamie would search for her and find her everywhere she went. Dani just wasn’t certain that was such a good thing.

.

Time ticked on and the reflections came and went and came again.

Curled up on their bed, Dani read a book as Jamie channel surfed. Suddenly, Jamie flipped over and watched Dani. Feeling her eyes on her face, Dani grinned and looked back at her.

“Yes?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I not allowed to admire my lovely wife?” Jamie widened her eyes in mock innocence and Dani broke out in light laughter.

“I guess that’s ok,” Dani said, rolling her eyes.

“Let’s go somewhere.”

“Like where?”

“Anywhere. Everywhere,” Jamie paused for a moment, a wide smile present on her face. “To dinner.”

“Jamie! Are you asking me out on a date?” Dani gasped, jokingly.

Shrugging one shoulder, Jamie looked away before looking back at Dani. “If you’ll go, yes I am.”

“Ok,” Dani leaned forward, placing a sweet kiss on Jamie’s lips.

They turned back to their previous engagements, but both of them were smiling so, so wide. Even as time moved on, Jamie still managed to give Dani butterflies. And Dani made Jamie feel like she was floating.

Later that same day, Dani threw on a simple blue dress. After debating whether she should look or not, she gazed at her reflection in one of the mirrors. And it was her. Only her. Standing in her light blue dress with her blond hair and her mismatched eyes. Breathing out a relieved sigh, Dani turned from the mirror and grabbed a small golden necklace with a butterfly pendant. She clipped it around her neck and risked one last glance at her reflection. Still her.

“Dani, are you ready?” Jamie’s voice rang through the apartment and Dani smiled at the sound of it.

“Yeah, I’ll be right out!”

Walking into the living room, Dani tucked Jamie’s tag into her shirt. Her hand lingered on her back, rubbing a soft circle. Jamie turned her head to meet Dani in a kiss and then they were off.

They walked to the restaurant. It was a nice night with an easy breeze and a gorgeous sunset. The sky erupted in pinks and purples and oranges. Something brand new even though it happened every single day. Dani wished she could bottle the colors for a night, take them out and look at them when she felt like she was wandering. Then she would set them free again. Return them to the world. But she couldn’t do that.

So, instead, Dani stopped in her tracks and lifted the camera from where it rested against her hip. She tugged on Jamie’s hand, making her stop too and took a quick picture of her and her wild hair framed by the colors. All of the colors. Like the sky was alight with flames of pure magic. And Jamie was a sorceress. Her sorceress.

When she made to start walking, Jamie held her back. “Oh no you don’t. You’re not the only one who gets to take pictures in this relationship.”

Jamie’s teasing smile resonated somewhere deep in Dani’s gut. She was in love. Every day she woke up and saw Jamie and she fell in love all over again. She was in love with this woman made of thorns and rosy petals and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Nothing she wanted to do to stop it. She was helplessly, hopelessly in love. And she was going to hurt her. Someday, near or far, she was going to hurt her so badly and she wouldn’t be there to make it any better.

But Dani didn’t say any of that. She didn’t say anything. No, she stood with the sunset behind her and smiled softly at Jamie. Smiled with all of the stars in her eyes. Smiled with all of the love in her heart. And Jamie took the picture.

They ate and they talked and they walked back to their apartment. And it was just another day. One day in a sea of many. And that was enough. If it was with Jamie, it was always enough.

.

Another year, and Dani was still there. She was clinging to herself, her life, her reality, harder than she’d ever clung to anything before. But it was getting harder with every day, every hour, every minute. Before long, she knew she’d be gone. Some place where she would never come back from.

She no longer looked in mirrors. And she didn’t do the dishes anymore. Jamie didn’t push her, and she didn’t mind doing them as long as it meant Dani could stay just a little bit longer.

Jamie sat on the couch with Dani on the floor in front of her and while Jamie ran her fingers through Dani’s hair, Dani was sorting through pictures they had lying around. She pulled handfuls of them from a worn shoebox, eyes scanning each photograph. A light smile played on her lips and whenever she glanced over her shoulder at Jamie, she saw a similar one on her face.

One. Rebecca and Peter. It took Dani by surprise, seeing the picture of them again. She didn’t remember taking it from the manor. But there it was, in her hand. Looking down at their faces, she was struck again by how strong they looked. Like they could set the world ablaze. But she knew, she knew Rebecca would have dowsed the flames long before they could reach anyone more than herself. Setting the picture on one of her piles, Dani moved on to the next.

Two. Owen holding Flora, Jamie leaning against a wall in the background. Unlike the previous one, Dani could remember not just taking the picture with her but actively photographing the moment. She could hear Flora’s little voice as she analyzed the photo after Dani had taken it. As always, it was ‘perfectly splendid.’ Owen had nodded in agreement and when Flora asked Dani to take another one, they’d all done exactly that. There were three copies of the same picture floating around in the world. But only one had Jamie in it. Only Dani’s copy had Jamie in it.

Three. Jamie, Dani, Owen, and Hannah at Owen’s restaurant. It was newer, only a couple of years old. Dani had insisted on taking it when they’d finally gotten to visit France. Her reasoning had been that she didn’t have nearly enough pictures with all of them together and none of the others had really needed a reason to agree. So, they got a waiter to take it for them and when that was all said and done, they talked and drank deep into the night. The memory made her smile grow a little.

Four and five went together. One of Jamie surrounded by the sunset. One of Dani surrounded by the same colors.

Standing up, Dani took the last four pictures with her. She tacked them up on the wall, putting the sunset pictures next to one another. Jamie followed Dani, snaking her arms around her waist from behind. She surveyed the four polaroids, laying a feather of a kiss on Dani’s neck.

“I see you found some nice memories, huh?”

Dani nodded lightly, running her fingers along the edge of the picture of Jamie. “Well, it’s not so hard to find them. We have a lot of good memories, you and me.”

“You make some good points there,” Jamie said, spinning Dani around to face her. She pulled her into a slow, simple kiss, looping her arms around Dani’s neck. Dani smiled into the kiss, forgetting about the time ticking. Always ticking. She let herself get absorbed in the moment. In the kiss. It was a nice moment to lose herself in.

.

There was always that subtle ticking in the back of Dani’s mind. Hiding in a corner with the face that wasn’t hers. And as she slept, it hit a breaking point. The sound had been growing steadily, but it was finally too loud to bear. Like a mask, the lady’s face slipped over her own. It flickered as it tried to take control. Tried to block out Dani’s thoughts. But one piece of Dani slipped through. Jamie.

She looked down at Jamie’s sleeping face, aware that she was poised to kill. Dani threw herself back. The beast could take her. She could have Dani, but she couldn’t touch Jamie. So, Dani got dressed and grabbed a pen. Finding the nearest piece of paper, she started writing. There was so much she wanted to say, but there was too little time and she didn’t know how to say goodbye. Was there even a way to say goodbye to Jamie? If there was, it was eluding Dani.

Instead of searching for the right words, Dani wrote the first thing that came to mind. Two simple sentences that she hoped would mean something when morning broke. Two simple sentences that she hoped would be enough somehow.

‘I’m sorry. I love you.”

And she was leaving, whispering a silent goodbye to the walls of their apartment. Sparing a final moment to remember the home she was giving up. Tears streamed down her face as she turned from Jamie. More flowed as she walked down the hall. As she opened the door and locked it behind her. The tears didn’t stop until she’d gotten in the car. And even then, they still threatened to spill over at every turn.

Unfortunately, there was a plane leaving for England. It was perfect timing for Dani.

She got on it.

No matter how hard Dani tried to sleep, it refused to take her. She was left alone with her thoughts on the plane. Well, that’s not quite true. She was never really alone. Viola was with her every step of the way. Viola was there when the plane touched down. When Dani got a taxi to the manor.

She was there when Dani finally came face to face with the lake. The lake that haunted Dani’s memories and plagued her dreams. The lake that held her fate locked away in its watery depths.

It was time.

Dani had known it was coming for a long time. She’d tried time and again to prepare herself. For leaving. For dying. But there was no way to prepare herself for what she had to do. Not when all she could think of was Jamie and the life that they had made together.

She sucked in a shaky breath and stepped forward. Walking further and further, water touched her feet. And then it soaked through the hem of her dress, working its way up her body. When she was neck deep, Dani spared one final glance out at the edge of the lake and she cried one last time. A wordless goodbye echoed out from her chest and she fell under. It was a different type of falling from the one she felt with Jamie. That falling was all hope and warmth. Falling into the water was cold and isolating and it held only fear. But there was some sliver of comfort in knowing that Jamie would be safe. That everyone would be safe.

Holding onto that one sliver of comfort, Dani sank.

.

Jamie woke peacefully, reaching out for Dani. But Dani was gone.

Sitting up as quickly as she could, Jamie scanned the room for her. Her eyes landed on the note and she snatched it off the nightstand.

“Fuck.”

Up and out the door in a flash, Jamie rushed to the nearest airport. She found a flight out to England and purchased a ticket not even sparing a single thought about the price. If they had asked for her entire life’s possessions, Jamie would have gladly handed it all over. For Dani. For just one more day.

The plane ride was restless. Jamie tried to focus on anything other than reality, but it was no use. She was trapped in hell. No, she was trapped in purgatory. Waiting for the admission to hell that was Bly Manor. She could practically picture the manor and the lake just sitting there, mocking her efforts. Because she would be too late. She would be too late, and she would lose… everything. Her hands trembled against the arms of her seat. She breathed in. Breathed out.

When they finally touched the runway, it was nowhere near soon enough. She pushed to the front, rushing past every other passenger. Jamie raced out into the English air, not slowing down until she was waiting for a cab. But even then, she didn’t stop moving. Pacing back and forth, she gestured for a car and got one on her second try.

Trees and fields whipped past the windows of the cab as she road in it, running her fingers over one of the corners of the polaroid in her hands. Dani’s smiling face shined up at her from it and Jamie forced herself to look away. She didn’t need to stare at something she would see soon enough. Because she would see Dani. She would. Jamie would get to Bly and they would leave together and they would have more days. They would get to have more time.

The cab pulled to a stop, but Jamie was wrenching the door open before then. She spilled out of the car and took off.

“Dani!” she screamed out into the empty air. “Dani!”

Her feet thudded beneath her, not even close to matching the tempo of her heart. Everything outside of herself was so quiet. Too unbearably quiet. Jamie rounded the corner to the lake, picking up her pace. She called out for Dani again, her voice growing hoarse as she screamed and yelled and shouted. Something inside her was breaking. Something big and solid and unbreakable was shattering. Because she was calling for Dani and Dani wasn’t calling back. And Jamie was five seconds away from making every possible bargain with every possible god just so Dani could be okay.

Skidding to a stop at the lake, Jamie stared at the still surface for just a second. Once the moment had passed, she was hurtling forward again. The water sloshed around her and then she was swimming.

Paddling harder than she ever had before, Jamie found herself in the middle of the lake. She sucked in a deep breath and dipped below the surface, searching. Searching for her heart. Wondering where it could have landed when it left. And as she searched and swam, she saw it. Saw her. Saw Dani.

A scream ripped its way out of her throat, bubbling through the water.

Jamie swam faster, deeper. She reached for Dani, her fingers grazing her arm. But she was still too far. And she was running out of air. Lungs on fire, Jamie pushed herself further down. Reaching out again, she managed to grab ahold of one of Dani’s arms. Using the hold as leverage, Jamie pulled herself to Dani. The edges of her vision darkened as she latched onto Dani’s body.

Kicking her legs, Jamie propelled them back toward the sky above. Breaking the surface of the water, she gasped for breath and looked at Dani’s face. It was easy to see that she was out, but Jamie was terrified it was something more than unconsciousness.

She swam the two of them back to the banks, pulling Dani up onto land. Once she had her safely secured on the solid ground, Jamie started performing CPR.

There was no way she was giving up. Not on Dani. And not on herself. So, she breathed into her and she pushed down on her chest. And she repeated that over and over, desperately waiting for some sort of response. Any response. But it wasn’t working. Nothing was changing and Jamie didn’t have a way of contacting anyone. Not in a way that would mean anything. Because everyone would be too late.

She tried again and then she pushed herself back, kneeling on the ground beside Dani. Tears broke free, mixing with the lake water that clung to her skin.

And as Jamie cried, a cough caught her attention.

Raising her gaze from the grass, Jamie saw Dani cough up water. It almost didn’t feel real. But then Dani was looking at Jamie, her eyes glossy and her expression neutral. And it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter what Dani looked like because she was alive. And they were going to have more time.

.

Jamie rushed her to a hospital after wrapping her in sheets that were in the manor. The doctors took Dani back and Jamie sat in the waiting room, bouncing her leg as she did. When they came out to talk to her, she had to focus to be able to hear what they were saying. But she got the part that mattered. The part where they said they wanted Dani to stay the night, but that she looked like she was going to make a full recovery.

Unable to visit Dani, Jamie fell asleep in the hospital waiting room. She woke up with a crick in her neck, but it was a small sacrifice to make.

They drove to a hotel together and Jamie booked a flight over the phone after they’d arrived. She didn’t push Dani. She didn’t ask. She just waited. And when the lights were out and they were lying in bed, Dani finally spoke. Answering the unasked question that had followed them everywhere they’d gone.

“I think she’s gone.”

The words hung between them as Jamie mulled them over. After a beat, she took Dani’s hand in hers, kissing it lightly. “I’m glad. Sort of missed having you all to myself, Poppins.”

Dani let out a short, sharp laugh and Jamie knew. She knew they were going to be just fine.

.

What Dani didn’t say was that she had died. She had died and Jamie had brought her back. Pulled her back from the edge.

Jamie had found her in the one place she hadn’t thought possible.

And they had days. And weeks. And months. And years.

They attended Flora’s wedding. Little Flora all grown up and in love. They got to have their own wedding, as well. With Owen and Hannah and Henry and the kids. And all of the friends they’d made in the in-between spaces.

Dani and Jamie had time. And they spent every minute of it doing the one thing Dani hadn’t expected. They spent every minute of it living. Living without fear. Without pain.

Living with love. Because they were together. Always.

On one wall of their apartment, their lives spread out in front of them. Pictures of their time at Bly Manor. Pictures of them before they knew each other existed. Pictures of their wedding. And in the middle of it all were two bright explosions of color. One polaroid of Jamie framed by a sunset. One of Dani, the same way. And if someone were to look at the photographs for long enough, it almost seemed like the women in the pictures were looking at each other. With all the love in the world reflected in their eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> just know that if i knew how to draw other poses,, i would draw the different pictures that i mentioned,,, but,,, alas,,
> 
> hope u enjoyed and have a nice night !! :)
> 
> and if anyone feels compelled to draw any of the pictures,, pls let me know !! i would love to see <3


End file.
